Mists of Pandaria has been the bear-butt of jokes and a source of outrage for the World of Warcraft scene ever since its announcement. What was Blizzard thinking, and how did the fans react? Justin Kardi ponders these events… IN SONG FORM.
The Pandaria Song
Late one night down at the Blizzard HQ,
They held a meeting about declining revenue.
The World of Warcrafters had started to stray,
To Old Republic, with a new Guild Wars on the way.
Come now gentlemen we must stop this bleed,
Our lost subscribers are a warning to heed,
A new expansion pack is just what we need,
What we need, what we need…
Is pandas, pandas,
They're soft, warm, cute and they're cuddly.
Pandas, pandas,
Even though they look kinda funny.
Any protest I think will be minor,
'Cause most our players all live in (China) Carolina.
Pandas, pandas, pandas.
When the gamers heard about this little news,
There was excitement, but most were not amused.
Some said they’d grow their multiboxing by one,
Others said to quit, they'd leave, yes they would run.
I thought these pandas were just beer brewing drunks,
Now they're all mystical, mysterious monks,
I don't know how they fit with tough Orcan punks,
Tell me how, tell me how?
'Cause they're pandas, pandas,
They are kick-ass Kung-Fu teddy bears.
Pandas, pandas,
They wear rice paddy hats and have no cares.
They've been around since Warcraft III,
They were a joke now they're meant to be taken seriously.
Pandas, pandas, pandas.
Is this a big mistake or part of their plans?
Only time will tell us where Blizzard stands.
Have they made an own goal and done a Leeroy,
Gone and tripped their own explosive decoy.
But though competitors think they've got 'em trumped,
As player numbers have just recently slumped,
Don't assume that WoW has finally jumped,
The panda, the panda…
Pandas, Pandas,
They're not Horde or Alliance.
Pandas, pandas,
They sit on the fence in defiance.
Better than a talking cow (that’s a Tauren)
They’re making Azertoth the place to be born in,
The under 12 demographic is FTW,
The dollar signs are making Activision Blizzard grin.
Pandas, Pandas, Pandas.
